Thursday, March 20, 2014

#tbt: Summer 1990 - Mean boys and girls

My son is in kindergarten and he’s already having girl problems.  They’re just so mean sometimes!   Actually, his particular problem isn’t a ‘mean girl’ problem, it’s the fact that they always want to play with him, and he doesn’t always want to play with them.  And they just keep bugging him.    And it’s all I can do not to quip, “they just tease you because they like you…”.    He had a better quote yesterday when he said “I’m not going to call her dumb…(and he really hung on the “mb..” part..) but she..well.. she… just doesn’t understand people’s feelings (emphasizing the eee in 'feeling').”.    He went on to explain that his best guy friends understood him.  They really ‘get’ him.  When I asked him to expand on that he went on to explain that if he tells his buddies that he doesn’t want to play with them, they understand, and they just leave him alone.  But the girls? Oh no.. the girls just keep hounding him.   Oh the life of a 5-year-old.

So, I had this on my mind when I was reviewing old journals and I came across this entry from June 1990.  I was fifteen, almost sixteen, and had my own problems with boys and girls.  During this time of my life I marched with a Drum and Bugle Corp.   For those that may not be familiar, it is primarily a horn line, drum line and percussion, and colorguard.  Usually, the horn line was mostly boys with just a couple of girls (me being one of them) and the colorguard at that time was all girls.   I was stuck in this middle ground where I wanted to be with the girls, but was often ‘just one of the guys’, or, that’s what I gather from this entry:

 “Well we won our first show on tour – Costa Mesa, we also got high brass and visual effect.  I should be happy, buy I’m not. [warning, warning, teenage angst alert]  I’ve been upset all day and different factors [factors?!] contribute to this –
1)   [because of course I list my problems] my back is sooo sore.  (I hurt it in the b-ball game we had last night.)

2)   [The instructor] was picking on me all day

3)   [This colorguard girl] is treating me like shit, she just uses me.
  [I never swore when I was this age – NEVER.  So the fact that I wrote “shit” means that I was really really upset]

4)   The guys made up a song about me (and my flat chest).  [Nice huh?]

I’m just so mad! [But only mad enough for one exclamation point.] Right now especially at [that girl], but there's also a lot of other colorguard, that don't recognize me as anything - girl or friend - just "one of the guys", and a horn player - so I'm left out of everything."

[Boo Hoo right??  I read this journal entry now and I laugh because I became quite good friends with many of those girls, and even the boys who made up songs about my flat chest.  And those experiences with Corps were some of the most fun summers and most memorable times of my young life.]

2 comments:

Rick said...

For the record, I had nothing to do with that song.

Mrs Mingle said...

Rick - you are right. You had nothing to do with THAT song.