My clever cat and patient husband:
The mini-rosebush I've managed to keep alive that's doubled in size and is now blooming:
The fact that my cats now get along:
Tomorrow is Friday.
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Things That Make Me Happy
My clever cat and patient husband:
The mini-rosebush I've managed to keep alive that's doubled in size and is now blooming:
The fact that my cats now get along:
Tomorrow is Friday.
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Hump Day
I began writing notes for this blog while I was sitting on an airplane this morning headed to Los Angeles for the day. Just one day. My bosses told me last Friday that they wanted me in LA today for a “meeting”. I was appalled at the cost of the roundtrip to LA since it was booked for the same day, and at the last minute. I was even more appalled when I got to the airport this morning and they told me my flight wasn’t actually confirmed when I purchased it on Friday, so they proceeded to charge me today’s price which was $150 more. (I’ll be arguing that with United later). It’s on the company card, but even though it’s not my personal money, I still can’t justify the cost in my own head. This better be some meeting.
Last night was fun – I went to the Jimmy Buffet concert with the Foffs. My dad actually bought all of our tickets, but he and J had to go to Colorado so he ended up giving daughter Foff and me their tickets. The deal was the Mr. Foff had to treat us all to dinner before hand. It was the only time I’ve ever been able to tell an “authority figure”: “My dad said you better take good care of me tonight or he’s going to ‘kick your ass’”. To which Mr. Foff looked me in the eye and replied, “What would you like for an appetizer Mingle?” (Everyone knows that you just need food to make a Mingle happy.) The concert was really good, but probably would have been better in a tropical, or even a warm setting. We were all in jackets zipped up to our chins swaying to the reggae tropical beat. They had huge screens to either side of the stage where they would show a close-up of the performers as well as pan the audience. The blond girl with big boobs who was dancing in the front was on there a lot. No pictures of Mingle and Foffs dressed up in winter gear in section 202. Go figure.
This whole week is weird. I haven’t actually been to my office yet. (Not complaining at all about that!). I had a 2-day course in SF to learn some reporting application, which I found relatively simple since I spend so much time with Excel. So, I spent most of the time checking my email while the teacher would show people how to add a border, or change the color of a header. We would get out of class at 4pm so on Monday I spent the entire evening shopping. It was wonderful. Mr. Mingle was in the city at a meeting so I decided to wait until that was over and take BART home with him. I went to a café on the top floor of Virgin Records and ordered a beer from the tap. The “keg kicked” so the glass was half full of foam. The bartender then gave me a bottle of beer, but also handed me the glass of beer, which by the time I drank it was a full glass of beer. There I was sitting alone with my many shopping bags, overlooking Market St., while double-fisting two beers. It was truly grand. Not to mention they had “Men’s Pocky” which I haven’t seen since I was in Japan, so I bought that as well. (Pocky is long, thin pretzel sticks dipped in chocolate – “Men’s Pocky uses dark chocolate instead of milk.)
So, there’s my week so far – I’m back in the office tomorrow, but then work from our Dublin office on Friday. I love being secluded out there away from the rest of my department. All in all, I’d say it’s a pretty good week.
Last night was fun – I went to the Jimmy Buffet concert with the Foffs. My dad actually bought all of our tickets, but he and J had to go to Colorado so he ended up giving daughter Foff and me their tickets. The deal was the Mr. Foff had to treat us all to dinner before hand. It was the only time I’ve ever been able to tell an “authority figure”: “My dad said you better take good care of me tonight or he’s going to ‘kick your ass’”. To which Mr. Foff looked me in the eye and replied, “What would you like for an appetizer Mingle?” (Everyone knows that you just need food to make a Mingle happy.) The concert was really good, but probably would have been better in a tropical, or even a warm setting. We were all in jackets zipped up to our chins swaying to the reggae tropical beat. They had huge screens to either side of the stage where they would show a close-up of the performers as well as pan the audience. The blond girl with big boobs who was dancing in the front was on there a lot. No pictures of Mingle and Foffs dressed up in winter gear in section 202. Go figure.
This whole week is weird. I haven’t actually been to my office yet. (Not complaining at all about that!). I had a 2-day course in SF to learn some reporting application, which I found relatively simple since I spend so much time with Excel. So, I spent most of the time checking my email while the teacher would show people how to add a border, or change the color of a header. We would get out of class at 4pm so on Monday I spent the entire evening shopping. It was wonderful. Mr. Mingle was in the city at a meeting so I decided to wait until that was over and take BART home with him. I went to a café on the top floor of Virgin Records and ordered a beer from the tap. The “keg kicked” so the glass was half full of foam. The bartender then gave me a bottle of beer, but also handed me the glass of beer, which by the time I drank it was a full glass of beer. There I was sitting alone with my many shopping bags, overlooking Market St., while double-fisting two beers. It was truly grand. Not to mention they had “Men’s Pocky” which I haven’t seen since I was in Japan, so I bought that as well. (Pocky is long, thin pretzel sticks dipped in chocolate – “Men’s Pocky uses dark chocolate instead of milk.)
So, there’s my week so far – I’m back in the office tomorrow, but then work from our Dublin office on Friday. I love being secluded out there away from the rest of my department. All in all, I’d say it’s a pretty good week.
Thursday, April 20, 2006
Give a Cat a Hug
Mr. Mingle’s sister stayed with us this past weekend, and when I brought her home on Friday I introduced her to the cats...”this is Mini and this is Zimby”. She replied “oh yeah, I remember Zimby – she and I bonded the last time I was here.”
This is the cat that rarely lets anyone aside from Mr. Mingle and I get close to her, and even then it’s on her own terms. She will cuddle with me when I’m in bed, and whenever either of us is on the computer, that is her “love-fest time” where she wants as much attention as possible and then proceeds to drool all over the keyboard. But any other time you want to pet her or give her some love, it’s hit or miss whether she wants it.
So, when sis-in-law said those two words in a sentence: “bonded” and “Zimby”, I scoffed internally, and thought, yeah…right. She then proceeded to pick Zimby up and I was quick to say, “ooh….she doesn’t really liked to be picked up much…”, and Mr. Mingle was behind me echoing..”yeah, and when she does, she only likes to be held a specific way…” When to our utter shock we looked at the cat, and realized that she had turned to absolute putty in her arms. It was a sight I have never seen before – and she wasn’t even holding her “right”! I truly wish I had taken a picture because it was amazing. The cat was practically straddling her arm and she wasn’t struggling at all – she looked…happy.
The other reason I wish I had taken a picture is because Mr. Mingle and I cannot figure out how she was holding the cat. We’ve tried now a few times to re-create the putty-cat, but instead we get struggling-angry-cat. But we’ll continue to try…if for no other reason then because its fun to torture her a little bit.
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Six Frustrations
1 – The number of Casio keyboards stolen from my car
2 – The number of locks broken on my old car
3 – The number of windows broken on my cars
4 – The number of times Honda Betty was broken into
5 – The number of times I’ve had to pay to fix damage to cars broken into
6 – The number of times my car has been broken into
It’s true. I’ve waited a whole week to write this…I’ve been trying to let it go. But last Wednesday my car was broken into again. I was parked in the financial district of SF where they smashed my passenger side window, stole my CDs, half of a book on tape from the library, and a bag which had some of my favorite pants and shoes, and Jimmy Buffet concert tickets that my dad had given to me that day. Fortunately – the tickets, the most expensive item stolen, can be easily replaced. However, pants, shoes and some personal CDs cannot be. Neither can my frustration be assuaged as to why this continues to happen.
Ironically, I have married a man who has even worse luck with cars then I do. However this makes me feel neither better nor worse. Truthfully, at this point, it’s just bitterly humorous.
2 – The number of locks broken on my old car
3 – The number of windows broken on my cars
4 – The number of times Honda Betty was broken into
5 – The number of times I’ve had to pay to fix damage to cars broken into
6 – The number of times my car has been broken into
It’s true. I’ve waited a whole week to write this…I’ve been trying to let it go. But last Wednesday my car was broken into again. I was parked in the financial district of SF where they smashed my passenger side window, stole my CDs, half of a book on tape from the library, and a bag which had some of my favorite pants and shoes, and Jimmy Buffet concert tickets that my dad had given to me that day. Fortunately – the tickets, the most expensive item stolen, can be easily replaced. However, pants, shoes and some personal CDs cannot be. Neither can my frustration be assuaged as to why this continues to happen.
Ironically, I have married a man who has even worse luck with cars then I do. However this makes me feel neither better nor worse. Truthfully, at this point, it’s just bitterly humorous.
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
The New Global Dialing Plan
Everyday we receive multiple emails from our IT department informing us of changes – but half the time I don’t understand them. Usually they are about server upgrades, system outages, and have a string of acronyms to further confuse the reader. However, the one below is about the phone system – something I get - yet they still manage to confuse me. Here’s portions of the original, and below is my interpretation (also based on previous experience with our current phone system).
"The IT Communications Infrastructure Team has scheduled a series of upgrades to our existing phone system to begin implementing a Global Dial Plan. When the Global Dial Plan is fully implemented it will allow for 7-digit dialing between major campus sites worldwide.
…
When your site is converted to the 7-digit plan all phone extensions will have a "11" added to the beginning of the existing extension.
This will not impact any external calls and you will still be able to use the current 5-digit extensions for calls between the following sites:
San Mateo / Dublin (CA)
Ft Lauderdale
Rancho Cordova
St Petersburg
…
My Interpretation
When dialing Rancho you need to dial 5 digits, but when calling Canada you need to dial 7-digits (if you can guess what they are). This will not have any impact on your site except for the fact that sometimes you have to dial 5-digits, and sometimes 7. But there will also be times when you need to dial 12 (don't forget the 9) and even more if you dial someone's cell phone in another country. Cell phones will not be affected by the new dial plan. They will still only work sporadically. But you can try dialing 7-digits. If you cannot reach someone in the US, try dialing 11 before their old extension, but please be sure not to dial 11 after a 9. If you would like to reach 911 please dial 9911, and if this doesn't work, try dialing 119911, and if that doesn't work, please add one more digit, so that you are dialing 7-digits. Don't call us, we'll call you, and don't even try to contact our office in New York.
"The IT Communications Infrastructure Team has scheduled a series of upgrades to our existing phone system to begin implementing a Global Dial Plan. When the Global Dial Plan is fully implemented it will allow for 7-digit dialing between major campus sites worldwide.
…
When your site is converted to the 7-digit plan all phone extensions will have a "11" added to the beginning of the existing extension.
This will not impact any external calls and you will still be able to use the current 5-digit extensions for calls between the following sites:
San Mateo / Dublin (CA)
Ft Lauderdale
Rancho Cordova
St Petersburg
…
My Interpretation
When dialing Rancho you need to dial 5 digits, but when calling Canada you need to dial 7-digits (if you can guess what they are). This will not have any impact on your site except for the fact that sometimes you have to dial 5-digits, and sometimes 7. But there will also be times when you need to dial 12 (don't forget the 9) and even more if you dial someone's cell phone in another country. Cell phones will not be affected by the new dial plan. They will still only work sporadically. But you can try dialing 7-digits. If you cannot reach someone in the US, try dialing 11 before their old extension, but please be sure not to dial 11 after a 9. If you would like to reach 911 please dial 9911, and if this doesn't work, try dialing 119911, and if that doesn't work, please add one more digit, so that you are dialing 7-digits. Don't call us, we'll call you, and don't even try to contact our office in New York.
Sunday, April 09, 2006
Mingle iPod Meme
Inspired by Yay Toast , I decided to test the skills of my iPod in answering some questions about life. As Sactownkid explained, "you shuffle the songs in your iPod and use the resulting songs to answer the following questions, in the order in which they appeared". I found my iPod to be a little insightful, a little stubborn, and it also had a sense of humor. All things that are very important in any electronic gadget. However, one question it did not answer for me was this, "What is a meme??".
How does the world see you?
"Police and Thieves" Junior Murvin
(Hmm...does this mean that people have caught on?)
Will I have a happy life?
"Ice Cream" Lou Bega
(It always comes down to food)
What do my friends really think of me?
"Silent Sea" KT Tunstall
(Surprising - and here I thought I was one of the louder ones)
Do people secretly lust after me?
"Drive In, Drive Out" Dave Matthews Band
(Um..as in...pass right by?)
How can I make myself happy?
"Track 14", Unnamed
(Very funny iPod meme. It was a latin jazz tune - are you suggesting I join a mariachi band?)
What should I do with my life?
"Heal Over" KT Tunstall
(Deep - I need some time to contemplate this one)
Will I ever have children?
"Make Me Smile (Come Up and See Me)" Steve Harley
(Is that a yes?)
What is some good advice for me?
"Track 6" Unnamed
(Just give me some advice!!!)
How will I be remembered?
"Tempted" Squeeze
(By what?)
What is my signature dancing song?
"Right Place, Wrong Time" The Jon Spencer Blues Explosion
(Can anyone say Running Man?)
What do I think my current theme song is?
"Let You Down" DMB
(And now, we take a turn towards depressing)
What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
"Gin and Juice", The Gourds
(Is this why I've "Let You Down"?)
What song will play at my funeral?
"The Sound of Silence" Simon and Garfunkel
(Enough said.)
What type of men do you like?
"I'm Only Thinking of Him," Man of La Mancha
(Mr. Mingle. Too sweet)
What is my day going to be like?
"Independent Women" Destiny's Child
(This is so very true when the hubby is working on the weekends!)
How does the world see you?
"Police and Thieves" Junior Murvin
(Hmm...does this mean that people have caught on?)
Will I have a happy life?
"Ice Cream" Lou Bega
(It always comes down to food)
What do my friends really think of me?
"Silent Sea" KT Tunstall
(Surprising - and here I thought I was one of the louder ones)
Do people secretly lust after me?
"Drive In, Drive Out" Dave Matthews Band
(Um..as in...pass right by?)
How can I make myself happy?
"Track 14", Unnamed
(Very funny iPod meme. It was a latin jazz tune - are you suggesting I join a mariachi band?)
What should I do with my life?
"Heal Over" KT Tunstall
(Deep - I need some time to contemplate this one)
Will I ever have children?
"Make Me Smile (Come Up and See Me)" Steve Harley
(Is that a yes?)
What is some good advice for me?
"Track 6" Unnamed
(Just give me some advice!!!)
How will I be remembered?
"Tempted" Squeeze
(By what?)
What is my signature dancing song?
"Right Place, Wrong Time" The Jon Spencer Blues Explosion
(Can anyone say Running Man?)
What do I think my current theme song is?
"Let You Down" DMB
(And now, we take a turn towards depressing)
What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
"Gin and Juice", The Gourds
(Is this why I've "Let You Down"?)
What song will play at my funeral?
"The Sound of Silence" Simon and Garfunkel
(Enough said.)
What type of men do you like?
"I'm Only Thinking of Him," Man of La Mancha
(Mr. Mingle. Too sweet)
What is my day going to be like?
"Independent Women" Destiny's Child
(This is so very true when the hubby is working on the weekends!)
Thursday, April 06, 2006
Dancing Torture Flashback
A quote from Mom I'm not used to hearing:
"I really liked that email you wrote about pole dancing."
She told me this yesterday. I wrote the "pole-dancing email" in June 2003. Curious what I had written back then, I used my "valuable" time at work to search through old folders and found the original email, titled - "Torture". Here it is for your enjoyment:
Hello! I told a few of you about the audition callback...so let me tell you about the torture I experienced...
Well...I went to the dance audition last night... and it was one of the most embarrassing moments of my life! Here's the story....
I was called back for a role as a courtesan in "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum", and I didn't know anything about it before the audition. Basically, they're members of a harem and are supposed to seduce the main character...so the first thing they said to us is..."The point of this audition is to show us how sexy you can be.." oh shit, I thought, that is soo not me..in fact that's about as far away as you can get when it comes to my dance style ... (I thought I was going to be "silly dancing"...not pole dancing!!) I was so mortified...
I was the oldest, tallest girl there and also had the least amount (no amount) of dance experience. They taught us a dance, which I never quite got because they went too fast and I just didn't get it, not to mention I'm not flexible...and basically screwed up when I had to perform. I felt like a beached whale. Had you been there, you truly would have laughed your ass off. I now have 3 bruises from last night's experience...one on each knee and midway up my back - can you imagine what type of dancing we were doing??
Once we all performed we had to line up on stage so they could just check us out because they were looking for a specific look and body type for different roles (and in my head I'm screaming.."Get me out of here!!") They also asked us 2 questions...."Does anyone have a problem dancing in 3-inch heels?" (Silence..silence...) "Does anyone having a problem being practically naked?" (Silence...silence) Finally, I shouted out.."um..I might have a problem with 3 inch heels" (If I can't walk in them...I doubt I can dance in them...) They said, "Well, how about 2-inch?" At this point I know they aren't going to call me back anyway, so I respond "yes, that would be fine" (Like I have a clue) They then asked me how tall I was, so I stood up straight and said 5'11'' and they said 2-inch heels would be fine. (Like it matters) And I just let the "naked" question go by, but had a clear image of me dancing half naked on stage with my friends and family sitting in the audience trying to hold back their laughter..or in my parents case, covering their eyes...
Once they were done checking us out, and taking notes they let us go. I could not get out of there fast enough and never looked back! And that...is my first callback experience... kill me..kill me now.
(Needless to say -- I didn't get that role)
Monday, April 03, 2006
Inspired by Open Letters on McSweeneys.net
AN OPEN LETTER TO THE PERSON OR PERSONS WHO KEEP STEALING AND VANDALIZING MY HUSBAND’S ’94 SATURN:
Dear Vandalizing Thief,
Enough is enough. What is it about my husband’s 1994 Saturn that is so intriguing to you? You and I both know that it’s a piece of crap and yet you continually pass by the BMWs, Mercedes, Toyotas and Hondas (which I’m told are just as easy to steal) until you see the Saturn. Is it the grainy gold color from years of not washing, or the droopy ceiling liner that attracts you? I wish you could at least have some heart to steal a car that is fully insured for theft. Why do you think a person drives a car like this? Five words: Full time student. No Money.
Thanks for parking it near the house where you tossed his insurance papers the first time you stole it. We were fortunate to see it when we drove to that neighborhood to pick up the paperwork. You may have stolen everything out of the car, and stripped the license plates, but the word “Bitch” that was scratched into the paint from the first time it was vandalized was a pretty clear indication that it was my husband’s car. Not to mention the donut tire that was still on the car from when he had a flat tire a few days before. That spare tire must have given you a real rough ride when you ground his clutch out. And to this day, I can’t imagine how you managed to blow the speakers in the one day you had the car. Was it from blasting the cassette tape of E.B. White poetry that my husband had, or from blasting his NPR stations that were pre-programmed into the radio? Just kidding, I know it was music from your favorite stations which you took the time to program in. Thanks for sharing.
After that, were you angry we found the car and took it back? A nasty note on the windshield would have sufficed instead of smashing his windows on multiple occasions to steal the contents of his car. I’m sure you realized by now that the only thing he regularly leaves in his car are his gym bags. How many gym bags does one person need anyway? Don’t his dirty gym clothes gross you out? Because I must tell you, he can be one sweaty guy. Fortunately for you, you must wear the same shoe size, but wouldn’t you rather get new shoes? He has already run an average of 300 miles in those shoes by the time you steal them. But don’t worry about the thing on the bottom of his foot that he’s been suffering from. It’s not contagious. Anymore.
The second time you stole the car, did you have to leave it parked in San Francisco? I had made sure it was fully insured this time, and was so excited that I might never see that car again. We could have taken the insurance money to buy another car that is harder to steal. Like a tank.
But no, you left it where the police could find it. Unfortunately they failed to tell us for a couple of days, so by the time we picked it up from the impound lot, it cost us over $300 for them to release it to us. (But thanks for pinning the droopy ceiling liner up with his Trader Joe’s nametag - that was a stroke of genius.)
It’s been awhile since anything has happened to his Saturn, but I wanted you to know that if you are thinking of vandalizing or stealing the car again, please do. I would like to buy a new car now, but I’m afraid no one will ever buy his old car. So, take it, dismantle it, drive it into the bay, burn it…do whatever you must do, just make sure that it will never ever be found again. I’ll even throw in a couple of gym bags full of sweaty clothes and running shoes to sweeten the deal.
Sincerely Yours,
Mrs. Mingle
Dear Vandalizing Thief,
Enough is enough. What is it about my husband’s 1994 Saturn that is so intriguing to you? You and I both know that it’s a piece of crap and yet you continually pass by the BMWs, Mercedes, Toyotas and Hondas (which I’m told are just as easy to steal) until you see the Saturn. Is it the grainy gold color from years of not washing, or the droopy ceiling liner that attracts you? I wish you could at least have some heart to steal a car that is fully insured for theft. Why do you think a person drives a car like this? Five words: Full time student. No Money.
Thanks for parking it near the house where you tossed his insurance papers the first time you stole it. We were fortunate to see it when we drove to that neighborhood to pick up the paperwork. You may have stolen everything out of the car, and stripped the license plates, but the word “Bitch” that was scratched into the paint from the first time it was vandalized was a pretty clear indication that it was my husband’s car. Not to mention the donut tire that was still on the car from when he had a flat tire a few days before. That spare tire must have given you a real rough ride when you ground his clutch out. And to this day, I can’t imagine how you managed to blow the speakers in the one day you had the car. Was it from blasting the cassette tape of E.B. White poetry that my husband had, or from blasting his NPR stations that were pre-programmed into the radio? Just kidding, I know it was music from your favorite stations which you took the time to program in. Thanks for sharing.
After that, were you angry we found the car and took it back? A nasty note on the windshield would have sufficed instead of smashing his windows on multiple occasions to steal the contents of his car. I’m sure you realized by now that the only thing he regularly leaves in his car are his gym bags. How many gym bags does one person need anyway? Don’t his dirty gym clothes gross you out? Because I must tell you, he can be one sweaty guy. Fortunately for you, you must wear the same shoe size, but wouldn’t you rather get new shoes? He has already run an average of 300 miles in those shoes by the time you steal them. But don’t worry about the thing on the bottom of his foot that he’s been suffering from. It’s not contagious. Anymore.
The second time you stole the car, did you have to leave it parked in San Francisco? I had made sure it was fully insured this time, and was so excited that I might never see that car again. We could have taken the insurance money to buy another car that is harder to steal. Like a tank.
But no, you left it where the police could find it. Unfortunately they failed to tell us for a couple of days, so by the time we picked it up from the impound lot, it cost us over $300 for them to release it to us. (But thanks for pinning the droopy ceiling liner up with his Trader Joe’s nametag - that was a stroke of genius.)
It’s been awhile since anything has happened to his Saturn, but I wanted you to know that if you are thinking of vandalizing or stealing the car again, please do. I would like to buy a new car now, but I’m afraid no one will ever buy his old car. So, take it, dismantle it, drive it into the bay, burn it…do whatever you must do, just make sure that it will never ever be found again. I’ll even throw in a couple of gym bags full of sweaty clothes and running shoes to sweeten the deal.
Sincerely Yours,
Mrs. Mingle
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