What Just Happened?

One day I am a working mom of two. My job takes up more time then my kids and I'm stressed beyond belief. By the time I get home I just want to wash away the work and see the family. But I can't. The emails keep coming, everyone is upset (at work), everyone is tired (at home) and I'm exhausted. I love the kids dearly, but don't seem to appreciate them for who they are. I'm just trying to get through dinner time and bedtime. Weekends are fun, but then Sunday night arrives and the work-blues set in.

And then the next day, I am unemployed. And, it was a most spectacular exit. Dramatic and heartfelt. Although I wasn't happy, I wasn't asking to leave. But, in the end, the company made the decision for me. Here one day, gone the next. The emails stopped. I was told not to return. Okay then, now what?

There is a looming mortgage - but that doesn't scare me (yet). There is the job hunt ahead of me, for although I was stressed at my old job, I must work. There is no option to change that if we want to continue to live where we live, and do what we do. Which we do. But, the job hunt doesn't scare me, it seems almost exciting (for now). There is the challenge of saving as much money as possible. It was interesting how quickly we knew the immediate items to cut. Housecleaning? gone. Swim lessons? gone. Public parking at a train station? gone, gone. But what's next? Childcare...

After all, if I am at home, why would we pay to have the kids in care? My daughter is in full time daycare, my son is in kindergarten with after school care. We can't pull them completely out because otherwise I would never have time to actually search for a job. So - we will leave the daughter in day care half-time only - I will have the mornings to hunt. Then I will have her in the afternoons. After that we will pick up our son from Kindergarten. Then I will have them both in the afternoons. Every day. What scares me? That does.

Oh sure, perhaps I'm a horrible mom for saying such a thing - after all they are MY children. But, I have always had a VERY healthy respect for stay-at-home moms, and that is one job that I have never held before. How exactly does one keep the children entertained (without constant TV), fed and happy, AND keep the house clean to boot? This concept alludes me. But oh.. I will learn quickly. Soon, I will search for my new job (for the paycheck) in the mornings, and I will begin my interim job as stay-at-home mom in the afternoons. This will be a treat and it will be a challenge. And, honestly, I'm really quite looking forward to this adventure.